I cannot find my penis.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
