maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
