we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize