Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
