Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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