dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
