how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
