Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
