i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
