O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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