Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
