I am in a vortex of obligation.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
