It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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