I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
