We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
where are my eyebrows?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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