dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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