Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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