How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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