i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
