sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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