How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
