the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
