You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
