Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
