I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
