Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it was like eating out sand paper
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
