woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
