i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
