the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Houston, we have a blender
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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