Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i drank out of a bidet.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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