Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
