I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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