He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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