That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
