what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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