please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
