I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My vagina is officially offended.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
