O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
