hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
