trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
