Im at strip club and am horny
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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