I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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