So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
