I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
