It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
