So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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