Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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