just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize