Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
