saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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