it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
