my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
