I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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