Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
