dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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