her vagine was all disorganized.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm having to shit out rocks
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
