So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
