We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
